Counsellors and therapists are often told that in order to be good at their job they must be neutral. Yet, lately, we are seeing more and more takes that declare that therapists should have a particular political leaning, should be advocating in particular ways, and are told a long list of things that we should and should not do. By the end of it I’m left gasping for air and wondering—where does the human come in? I have no problem with neutrality and positive regard in sessions with clients. I enjoy the process and I want to create a safe and compassionate environment for my clients. Yet, I am left feeling like there is no room for myself outside of the therapist room. For example, the Canadian Counselling Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) maintains in their code of ethics in section H6 Personal Use of Technology that Canadian counsellors in, “their use of social media and related technology in their personal lives, […] monitor the style and content of their communication for ethical congruity and professionalism. They attend to privacy/security features, continue to honour client confidentiality, demonstrate respect for and valuing of all individuals, and represent themselves with integrity”.

On the surface this policy makes sense. Counsellors should not be presenting themselves on the internet (even personally) in a way that goes against the field. And yet, I wonder: how far does this go? By vaguely saying that counsellors must act with “ethical congruity and professionalism” in their personal social media we are applying concepts to our personal lives that have yet to be tested or thoughtfully discussed. Is it unprofessional for a counsellor to have a drink of wine and post their photo on Facebook if they work in addictions counselling? Should a counsellor maintain a profile that is free of religious events if they work with populations with religious trauma? Does the role of counsellor and therapist really require a level of indoctrination that erases the personhood of the counsellor outside of the therapy room? These questions haunt me as a I read and re-read section H6. The ambiguity is something I am uncomfortable with. The truth about “ethical congruity” and “professionalism” is that these are not static terms that are set in specific policies—they are concepts that are tried and tested over time.

Since becoming a therapist I have had a particular flavour of burn-out. Counsellors are expected to be on the ball at all time regardless of where they are presenting themselves. More and more spaces like Linkedin are used as marketing platforms and even our own social media can be hijacked and used to judge us professionally. I feel like my own identity is slipping away behind the “counsellor” label. Every post I make even on a profile that has been set to private is now through the lens of, “what if a client sees this somehow?” And yet, I am not just a therapist. I am a friend, a cousin, a niece, a daughter, and a member of my community.

Most of these rules are self-inflicted. Since the concept of “how to be a good counsellor” and “acting with ethical congruity” is something that is flexible, many of us choose our own panopticon. The idea that others are watching and judging helps us make decisions. While self-censorship is a survival tool, if it is over-used, it can lead to a lack of congruence.

As digital life and professional life continue to intertwine we must grapple with the changing landscape of identity for working professionals. While I do not disagree that we should not do harm or act in a way that goes against the heart of the field, I worry that this level of siloing will lead to even more burnout for therapists who are already struggling to balance their personal and professional needs. If a policy truly exists to protect the public, it should be rooted in specific examples, precedent, and positions that can be backed by peer reviewed reasoning for these decisions. At the end of the day, therapists deserve to be human too. By increasingly scrutinizing every use of personal technology and the entire “personhood” of a therapist in and out of sessions, we are asking for the therapist to give up more and more of themselves in order to serve the profession.